Futura Retarda?

We predict that the next phase of Levvy's mentation will be gushing adoration of the "Founding Fathers."

What Will Your Baby Look Like?

Three dimensions would be four too many.

Work From Home

The money will roll right in.

My own ball-dicking will never match the heights attained by Levi in the Mushroom Staircase Massacre and the Cough Syrup Seduction.

The Source of our European Readership

Futuresitia

"From what my father told me, he was a walking disaster who screwed up the lives of everyone who got close to him. My dad's doctor says his schizophrenia was passed on from Levi, so after my dad had his major breakdown around my eighth birthday, I was filled with hate for this shit-spined fucker. The fucked-upness that he passed on to my dad was passed on to me, and I already know that it has led me to fuck up other people's lives. So really it all goes back to him. I fucking hate him and wish that his eventual suicide had been longer and more painful."
--Oliver M. Ballinger, 2029

[It should also be noted that while Levi was still alive, Oliver had an affair with Zoe, then rubbed it in Levi's face. Oliver didn't even care about her, he just wanted to poison Levi's soul.]

America's Finest

Back in the day, Russ was hoping for employment at a car wash. Levi was already employed, and so this would ideally serve as a solid foot in the door. But when Russ showed up one day to bring Levi drugs, the manager looked at Russ and immediately decided that he would not hire him. Russ was told by Levi that he had the appearance of a psychotic killer.

A good case could be made that this is what got the ball rolling with regard to the Levi/Russ dynamic. That they would hire a known truant drop-out dope-dealing addict, but pass on a high school graduate (ranked 23rd in his class his sophomore year*) really got under Russ' skin.



*This ranking would drop considerably when Russ got friendly with Levi and his "six pinners for fifty bucks" deal.

Ett. Vi. 002

"You have a city like Baltimore, where they'll put up a publicly-sponsored mural showing children of all colors holding hands and healing the earth--this bears no relation to the reality, says nothing about the real mechanics of life in that city. So I take a bare gray wall next to a payday loan office and put Levi's face there in bright green--suddenly you get an immediate sense of cause and effect, the whole cycle portrayed simply and in proximity to both ends. It's like a diagnostic art, maybe."
--Ett. Vi., Hope for the Hopeless, p. 18

Ett. Vi. Manuscriptos

"Alleged scientists tell us that drugs such as Prozac have entered the ecosystem through waste water, and so everyone is ultimately under the influence of prescription pharmaceuticals. The process of Levification sort of steps backward against time to impose a post facto reason for the later drugging--to implant into the past a reason for the widespread medicating of what is commonly referred to as Society."
--Ett. Vi., Hope for the Hopeless: Levification and Little Ol' You.

Three's Company

D B

One method for dicking balls.

Katzach

Pussification

Mind Addle, Fuck You Fucker, I Want to Die, God Bless the Terrorists

Now we're regretting not dicking his balls. It makes us look impotent.

We only gsin life by reveling in the death of others--vicariously I.

The 11:11 running time is sarcastic, another Em Jay Kay FUCK YOU.

Yes, we distort Levi's character and actions, but Derrida taught us that everything is relative.

Santa, you fuck, where's our fucking gun??

Perpetatum

If we were into direct communication, we might ask Levi--is a 4.0 GPA at a community college worth the price of your soul?

--- p. 2

...The reason we didn't dick his balls is because we had a vision of an enraged Levi killing Russ and his child.

A Tatertot Christmas

---

We could have really dicked his balls last night, but we didn't.

A Notification That Will Not Interest You

[FUCK THIS]

...we remain dedicated to attacking the baseless myths and acclaim oft laid upon Levi and his ugly legacy, and may also branch out into targeting his father, who recently vowed to kick C. Russell in his medication-savaged testicles.

A perfect visual encapsulation of C. Russell's pathos and unintended hilarity

The Balls and Their Dicking (Reversed and Inversed for the Web 2.0 Generation)

A little man on the corner whispering, "this is where the academy philosophies will get you..."

--

Note the stench and cancer as it bobs along on the westbound airstream.

From hallowed Harvard and the office of the esteemed Mr. Jeffrey Sachs, to the Midwestern dystopia of Macomb County--just short of the suburbs, to the quaint slums of The Clem.

There he is, the young entrepreneur--Mr. Ivel-cum-Greenspan, a Levite in a J.C. Penny sport coat.

He's awash in mystic hopes--"Ah yes, I'll bend poor Russell over and deliver unto him his very own Bolivian Miracle!"

THINK OF THE PROFIT MARGINS!
THINK OF THE FANCY WINES WE SHALL BUY!

Nevermind that, if this Russ character can't manage to meet the executive's demands, a defenseless child shall soon suffer one thousand indignities. No, no, nevermind that.

O FREE MARKET, O SAVAGE WHORE!

We've seen it so many times--the kids who are the future's hope throwing away their potential by falling into the video game trap. The levites self-crucified on the cross of nintendo. You'd expect more of Sieve especially, but there they all are, flushing the world down the ugly x-box drain. For shame!

The Spirit of Californian Eros Joins in Blessed Union with the Exposed Brain Matter of Lil' Tate

the levi persona attempts to join the untested potential of the slaughtered tate fetus with the wild, liberated, and virile psychosis of manson.

Rosetta Stoned

Chaz Levson and his Skeltering

The Legal Threats Have Begun

[Post removed due to huffy-puffy phone call from one of the more "fringe" members of the Mt. Clemens legal establishment]

The Ur-Beasts, The Un-Sigil, The Hex-cum-Hex

(CGI and techno-collage) by Ett. Vi. & Ca-Beck

Moor R-Tuh

"The Levite Pours Hot Lead Down the Famished Mouth of the Imprisoned DIANA" (CGI and oils) by Ett. Vi.

Statistical Awareness Un-Inhibition Extensiator

A Message from the Second-Tier IT Guy:

Just to let you know, our readership numbers coming out of Croatia have increased 400% over the last ten days. Our servers are handling it OK so far.

R-Tuh

"The Boy Who Raped My Spirit" (watercolor) by Ett. Vi.

Further Clarification

The use of "tariff" is symbolic, as part of a larger metaphor which speaks to a separate reality underlying the surface sheen of our discussion of "textiles."

Is Your Jizzum of a Suitable Purity?

Let us clarify--references to the Levite economy do not involve any (seriously) illegal operations.

The products in question are textiles, those of a medium or higher quality. Our time on the East Coast exposed us to the "wonderful world" of textile fetishism, which has carried on as our migration (short and pathetic as it was) has brought us back to the Ugly Midwest.

[Apologies to the parties involved for public airing of specific personalities...]

In our dealings, we transact with two parties: firstly, through Levi, a Mr. G. Ritzenschwual (formerly of Soviet East Germany). His products are imported mainly from those Arabic states which are not in a state of total disrepair. Secondly, through the Swedish marketer, Mr. D. Addisona. His textiles primarily emanate from Northern Europe.

Initially, our access was limited to Ritzenschwual, via Levi. As our tastes were relatively undeveloped, we were satisfied with his offerings. In our limited dealings with other sources, however, we were concerned with price disparity--it seemed we were perhaps getting "ripped off" (and there were questions regarding whether Levi was taking an excessive cut as middleman).

Roughly six months later, we gained access to Addisona's markets. This held great appeal, for--though the process of entering into this relationship was riddled with initial complications and complexities--the end result was a far greater "deal." Unfortunately, tariffs on European goods significantly limited the supply we were granted access to. Thus, we were more or less forced to remain associated with Levi's market share in order to maintain our monthly quota.

As time has passed, we have become increasingly distressed over the disparity between Ritzenschwual's prices and those of Addisona. But again, we are in a state of "textile addiction," and so must continue to suffer this imbalance for the sake of our continued "fix satisfaction."

We've tried to raise this issue in conversation with Levi (our direct contact with Ritzenschwual is strictly limited, in part thanks to Levi's determination to retain his monthly cut), but have achieved very little success in acquiring any sort of remedy. We oft wonder how long we can keep this up, especially considering the expansion of our other unrelated costs in other areas.

Currently we are designing a public petition addressed to Levi focusing on the morality of this conflict and his basic human obligation to "play fair." When it is finished, it will be announced here and elsewhere, and we kindly request that our readers lend their support by offering their signatures and dedications.

With love and cynicism,
The Looking For Levi team.

FB FUNHOUSE

In a little Facebook exchange, one of our agents let slip a mention of the (infamous?) "Cough Syrup Seduction," and not soon after, the entire account of one J. Levi Tate-Larose was deleted (again).

Why must one who professes to be so FREE act in such a DEFENSIVE and perhaps COWARDLY manner?

Intermission

We would like to say HELLO to our new Swedish readers.

An Angry Letter Sent To Levi, Intercepted by One of Our Agents

Subject: Holy Ghosts and Talk show Hosts and assholes like you!

 
Hey, I believe this is Zoe's supposed "boyfriend" (if it's not, you can delete this right now and I apologize), well, I got news for you chump, she called me the other night and told me all about what a scared lil' boy you really are! Any guy who can't take a slap from a 110lb. girl without having to put his hands on her and restrain her or quote-unquote "pin her down" and then is so insecure that he freaks out whenever she talks to anyone else, is a punk-ass bitch not worthy of that girl! And let me tell you something else right now... if I EVER hear of you putting your hands on her again... if you harm or touch even a SINGLE HAIR on that girls head in ANY way whatever that isn't loving or kind or that has ANY disrespect in it WHATSOEVER, I WILL hunt you down, cut your balls off, and feed them to my cat, do you understand me, macho-man?!?! I don't EVER wanna hear from her that you pinned her down, touched her or put your hands on her again... and if I do, you'll regret it the rest of your sad and short life here (2012 IS coming you know... I'm ready, are you?!?)! She told me you were basically keeping her there hostage, that you ate all HER food and drank all HER booze and that you and your "friend" were basically robbing her blind, taking all her money and then wouldn't even take her home when she asked you to! She called and wanted me to come and pick her up, which is exactly what I was going to do, she even stated she wanted to get away from there SO BADLY she was ready and willing to pay a cab over $120 to take her home that night, but she never called back, presumably, because YOU either talked her out of it, or took her phone or whatever!! But let me tell you this... she says she's sick of being there with you, so if she asks you to take her home, you'd BEST comply!! Or I WILL be out there to get her and you won't like that AT ALL if I have to do that!! If she tells me she's happy there with you and those kids, etc., then that's fine... I'm more than happy to let her keep playing house with you until I, A REAL MAN, a man who can take a slap (or even two!), can get my own life together enough to make things right between us and take care of her. But let me tell you one other thing - I have been thru hell and back with that girl, I've been thru ups and downs and loop-de-loop's over and over again... and I keep coming back... and I ALWAYS WILL! ...Do you know why?? Because I love that girl more than YOU COULD EVER or could even POSSIBLY understand, because you're selfish and afraid and I highly doubt you even know what it IS to TRULY love someone!! FIRST, you have to LET THEM GO to see if they come back asshole, not keep them from going home in first place... let me tell you something else - we've been thru some REALLY HORRIBLE DOWNS and on SEVERAL occasions I had to go thru and deal with her kicking me out of her life for one reason or another... But she always, ALWAYS, CAME BACK!! And she always will... I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!! And I never will because she and I have something that you and her could never even dream of possessing... faith and belief in each other and a connection that is truly rare and special. She and I were best friends and lovers and when she calls and tells me the shit she told me the other night?- You just don't get it do you... you're a rebound! Something to pass the time with, because she's a fragile and lonely little girl with abandonment issues and she's scared of being alone! Whether or not I can forgive her for this or not is ultimately something that "I", MYSELF, will have to decide and whether or not I even WILL is still very much up in the air, But I'm here and I always WILL be here... so if you want her in YOUR life... you'd better get used to me being around, because I'm not going anywhere! And if my brother ever tells me you called my house over and over and over again, again... I'll have you drug out into the street and wrap you in your own piss-soaked sheets, you got me douschebag!? She doesn't love you, she never will... if she did, she wouldn't have said all the lovely things to me she said when I called her for 1st time in weeks before OR any the things she said to me the other night!! You're in for a very rude awakening pal... I promise you that. But if she's truly happy there with you, more power to her! I'll support her decisions like I always have - cuz her happiness is all I've ever wanted... I just KNOW and FEEL and know what I've been told by her, so one day if you and I meet, we'll see what a man you really are, until then, don't EVER touch her again or you WILL be sorry, dig?! Deceive, Inveigle and Obfuscate - Augustine

The Cocksucker's Conundrum

Levi Tate on Eff Bee.

Sissah

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Post Perversion

We need some sort of mildly vigorous investigation into a certain shade of Internet behavior--the kind wherein a person makes statements online, but then quickly deletes them. What sort of fears and Dark Perversions would engender such public behavior? Why do such people choose to remain  ignorant about the "Wayback Machine" (and conversely, why isn't the Wayback Machine archiving this site on a bi-minute basis?)?

It reminds us of certain breeds of canine who will slurp up any shit in sight, but then deny having done so when questioned.

For our Spanish readers

Levi se masturbaba durante el uso de gel para el cabello para su lubricación.

Acclaim and Accolades

Pingy Web Application - Ping Tool

Some Blogs you might want to visit while waiting:

http://lookingforlevi.blogspot.com
http://ancient-archeology.blogspot.com
http://antiquegreece.blogspot.com
http://goddessesandgod.blogspot.com




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TRAFFIC

United States 239

Canada 10

Spain 1

Croatia 1

Russia 1

Statistical Methods in the New Psychiatry

Number of times J. Levi Tate-Larose has used the term "nigger" in cellular texts since Nov. 21st: 18.

Schizzum

COLD SILENCE HAS A TENDENCY TO ATROPHY ANY SENSE OF COMPASSION BETWEEN SUPPOSED BLOGGERS.